Posts Tagged ‘Child abuse’


re·in·vent  (rn-vnt)

tr.v. re·in·vent·ed, re·in·vent·ing, re·in·vents

1. To make over completely: “She reinvented Indian cooking to fit a Western kitchen and a Western larder” (Irene Sax).
2. To bring back into existence or use: reinvented the concept of neighborliness.


reinvent the wheel

1. To do something again, from the beginning, especially in a needless or inefficient effort: “School districts need not reinvent the wheel every time they try to improve their schools” (Washington Post).
2. To recast something familiar or old into a different form: “Call it reinventing the wheel or recasting old ideas, but these contemporary versions have a spirit and style all their own” (New York Times).
                                Thought I would look up the word  , ” reinvent” to see what the Dictionary  had to say on the word’s meaning. Thinking on how I was using the term and how I related to it.
I’m certainly not reinventing myself from scratch, with the exception of 
” sexuality”, which I did have to start from nothing. Being a Victim of Human Traffiking really messes one up and separates you from Normal Human Sexual Development.  In many ways I did go back to square one.
On another note,
” To recast the familiar into a different form”
  ” so that one can live with  the truth of one’s past , on a daily basis.”
 This is where the core of the work is done.
 Traffickers prefer to make their victims  very fearful.
Too Fearful to go and get help.  Create a fear of the Police
and other helping agencies.
Traffickers  prefer to  slowly and intentionally create  a relationship with thier victims  ,  in which they are dependent on them for everything. Food, The Bathroom, love , everything.
This last weekend I went into a store to shop , and a policeman was there doing
social media awareness.
I act as an adult.
talk about the info and take 2 pamphlets.
on the inside I know that this is a high trigger for me.
Fear and anxiety. I let the  memories of  a man  playing  Policeman and telling me to lick his boots to move thru me and beyond me  until the feelings have passed. The Game was Cop and Robber.
I  walk around the store looking and enjoying my shopping experience.
and out the door into a  sun-shiny Day.

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My father had a  private post office box that other members of the family didn’t know about and it was my brothers responsibility to  pick up packages  in the box and bring them home.  He brought me along.

These were pictures of naked children and  also Leather S/ M  photos.

I remember reading the book, ” The Secret Garden” in the old soft back edition . The  book cover had an illustration of a  a sullen little girl standing by  a grey wall & When I looked at it , I  knew that she understood how depressed I  was and this unkempt Garden behind the walls , she turned into a secret hopeful  place.

I still have the book.

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"A little spinner in the Mollohan Mills, ...

Image via Wikipedia

My Great  Uncle David , on my father’s Maternal side was a child laborer  in the  cotton mills  in the early 1900’s in  England.  It’s obvious that I don’t know this as a fact that he was sexually abused –  But  with what I know about him, I do think it is highly likely.

My Father was born in the 1920’s.

My Sister was sexually abused by my Great Uncle David.  She was severely physically abused by my  Father.   Her first Marriage resulted in Domestic Violence and Rape. She has since left some time ago.

My Brother was severely physically abused by my Father. He was also Sexually abused by him too.

I am the youngest  child of 3 siblings.  I was physically abused by my  Father and Brother.  I was also Sexually abused by Both.

My sisters Children grew up in a home with Domestic Violence.

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