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Posts Tagged ‘drug addiction’

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Image by K. Sawyer Photography via Flickr

Was watching the local news  during the week , on a segment on the new techno Pick pockets. ( Picking pockets, identity theft with new technology)   and was remembering way back in the 60’s when my brother was training me to pick pockets up in his room. The Faster the better.  No one  suspect that  a child would  steal.

Me:  I just wanted love and attention even when it was negative.

If. N smoked cigarettes.. I smoked cigarettes. I felt tough and invisible with a cigarette hanging from my mouth, but the truth is I was just an  8 yr old little girl.

I do remember going into a store and stealing  beer for my brother and his friends.

and N. and his friends  broke into their parents houses to steal money for drugs.  On a few occasions I went with them.  (  why he brought me :  I don’t know,  just a crazy-warped  version of Baby-sitting for his baby sister )

This escalated to going down to the streets of NYC ,  It escalated in proportion to my brother ‘s growing drug addiction.

 

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  New York City , Mid 1960’s ..Imagine this scenario..

A black boy  wearing  Purple  and big fancy fluffed coat

drives a  large  shiny Cadillac  while a white teenage

boy ( my brother)   sits in  the passenger seat . Together they

talk happily while passing the High rise

tenement  projects.  garbage and Dirt  litter the cold

street,  While I sit  in  Back seat , watching everything

like I am at the movies.

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It's Superman!

Image by Dude Crush via Flickr

I was reading late one night upstairs in bed with my super pink reading glasses on- thinking….  – I grew up. I am alive today to tell the story/to sing/ dance/ write and make beautiful art.

I could have titled this one ” When my Brother thought he could fly ” because he thought he could.

My brother and I are 7 yrs apart. For example,  When he was 17 yrs

I was 10 and so on. By the time my brother was a teen, he was addicted to cocaine, speed, heroin and acid.  On this particular day my parents had gone out and my brother was in charge to be my baby-sitter.

but on that day – I baby sat  my big brother brother.

I was sitting  with N. in his room/ as he’d already taken drugs and was starting to hallucinate.  He stood straight and firm , facing the win

dow with wide wonderous  eyes/ full of excitement/ flooded  with ectasy.

N said, ” I can fly like  Superman.”  He babbled. He really could . REALEEE  especially when drugs can assist you in uncovering your new super powers.

If he could fly-

I could sit up on his back/ like riding the magic carpet/  and look safely down from from soft puffy clouds.

but that wasn’t real.  I knew he couldn’t really fly  and my fear drove my anxieties higher

when i considered N. jumping from the 2nd floor of the house onto  the cement pavement of the driveway.  My parents would discover him splat on the ground and punish me for letting this happen.

As my anxiety rises,  My Memory

disapears into darkness and When it  reappears ,  N. has decided that we will slowly climb up onto  the the house ledge and climb up onto the side of the roof .  Thankfully,  he decided not to climb around the house and instead we came in thru the other bedroom window.

Oh this Winged World’

Not all Your Creatures

Can

Fly ”

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